Happy one month!

I have now completed a month at IISERP.  Apart from some delays in arrival of my household luggage from IISERK and acquiring internet connection at home, the transition has been very smooth.  Well equipped office space was alloted to me on Day 1, administrative joining-in formalities were done promptly, I found a suitable apartment [1] and got a new car on Day 2 and started driving practice immediately thereafter [2].  While I waited for my luggage etc to arrive from N1, I enjoyed the warm hospitality at my favourite guest house.

My colleague, Prof. Sunil Mukhi, who joined a couple of months ago, summarizes his impressions of IISERP very well in this post and I couldn't agree more.

Here are some things that I like most about my new workplace:

1) The Mathematics group, of which I am a member, is fairly well staffed.  Other than a comfortable teaching load, this ensures that committee work and other responsibilities get evenly distributed among all members.  So, while a couple of colleagues can focus on, say, building the course curriculum, some others can take care of student counseling etc.  One group takes care of seminars etc and another takes care of library matters pertaining to Mathematics.  We even have a Happiness Committee which organizes regular get-togethers to facilitate interaction between faculty and students.  I will write later about the responsibilities given to me.

2) We have a separate course structure for PhD students.  Mathematics graduate students need more course preparation than other STEM fields and we have the requisite courses to offer to our students.  My student seems to be benefiting from this a lot.  While he has started work on his PhD project, he is taking some core foundational courses that he had missed out before.

3) My colleagues, including the senior ones, across all STEM fields, are in general, very friendly and approachable.  This is totally not meant as a complaint, but it took me a lot of time to make friends in my former workplace.  For months, I went to the office, did my work and came back home without talking to anyone.  It was more common there for people from the same grad school to hang out together.
By contrast, over here, it is impossible to be left alone in a corner while having lunch at the faculty lounge.  Even if people come in groups, they reach out and talk to others on the table.  I like that very much.







[1] "Suitable" is an understatement!  This apartment is a dream.  The kitchen itself is bigger than the biggest room of my previous dwelling!

Strictly confidential

A few days ago, I unwillingly became a subject of some gossip at N1.  This was around the time I was applying for a position at New1.  Like everyone in my situation, I wanted to keep it very confidential.   I wanted to tell my colleagues only after New1 made me an offer (if they did, that is.)

Immediately before submitting the application, I informed the director and two deans for official purposes [1].  The application went through the proper channels and all was well.  One day, however, in a moment of indiscretion, I mentioned it to someone "unofficially" and requested the listener to keep it "strictly confidential".
Little did I know that by doing so, I made the information public immediately.
Moreover, adding the "strictly confidential" clause ensured that there was a very high-speed delivery of this information across the campus.

This had immediate consequences, which would have been hilarious, had it not not been so awkward!  Some of my departmental colleagues walked into my office to tell me that they had heard from the tea shop owner that I was moving!  "We'll miss you, new prof, but we wish you well" they said.

Moving already? Hello, I had not even been interviewed as yet!!

I then walked into the office of a colleague and very dear friend to talk to her about it before she heard it from other sources.

New prof: Hi, there's something you need to hear from me before you hear it from others.

Friend: I know for the last one week!

New prof: What do you know?

Friend: That you are moving.

New prof: NO NO, that's not true. I have applied, that's all.

Friend: (Surprised) Oh, I thought your moving was pretty certain!

After that, we went for a cup of tea and had a frank heart-to-heart conversation (away from the ears of the shop owner!)

The other funny conversation I had was with a person in the admin building.

Admin staff: I am very sorry to hear that you are leaving.

New prof: I am not leaving.  It is not certain.

Admin staff: I am worried about who will become the next warden of the girls hostel.

New prof: Well, there are so many women faculty who live on campus.

Admin staff: Yes,  but you have a very good attitude.

New prof: (keeps quiet, not sure if she should be flattered that people will miss her "good attitude" or angry that people are only worried about appointing the next warden!)

One positive consequence of all of this was that some very concerned and well-meaning colleagues from other departments came to talk to me about it.  They were worried that I was feeling isolated and lonely here and came to assure me that I was not alone!  That felt very nice.  I also got dinner invitations, which was a pleasant surprise, given my non-existent social life here :-)

But, through it all, I was very worried about what would happen if New1 did not make me an offer!  That would place me in such an embarrassing position! In a state of paranoia, I imagined awful scenarios in which people at the tea shop would gossip about how "new prof wants to move, but can't get another job"!  I imagined that the tea shop owner would ask me "Arre didi, aap ab tak yeheen hain?" [Translation: Sister, you are still here?] or even worse, "Ab Kya Karengi, didi?" [Translation: What will you do now, sister?]

Just before I left for my interview at New1, I made the following Plan B in case things did not work out with my application there:

 Motivated by this post by GMP, I ordered the book "A guide to rational living" by Albert Ellis and Robert Harper on Flipkart, a book about Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy, which, as the back cover says, "can teach any intelligent person how to stop feeling miserable about practically anything."

Happily, by the time the book arrived, New1 had already made me an offer and I had accepted.  So, although I am reading the book, it is for reasons very different from the one I originally imagined.

Are there any therapies which teach you how to keep your matters "strictly confidential"? [2]



[1] I also informed my PhD student because this would directly affect his future as well.  I am glad I did so because he went for a conference to another city soon after that and colleagues from this city told him that I might move.  I have no idea how they knew it! But, I am really glad that my student heard it from me before he heard it from them! 

[2] In  case any one is wondering, I am pretty reliable when it comes to preserving information about others!

Colleagues: In league/out of league?

After arriving at N1, my next step was to meet my colleagues.  I had already met some of them during my job interview and had gone back with an overall positive impression.  My job visit coincided with Republic Day, which was celebrated at N1 with flag hoisting, followed  by a countryside picnic and a cricket match between faculty and students.  It was good to meet future colleagues in these informal surroundings.  I did not hesitate to approach them and ask them frankly what they thought of N1 and how they were getting along there.  Many of them equally frankly answered all my questions and their answers presented both the advantages and disadvantages of starting a position at N1.  "Wow," I thought, "these people are so candid and not the phony/politically correct* types."
After joining, however, I realized that this had changed.  Many of the same colleagues were surprisingly very formal, unlike their previous avatars.
The chairperson was very warm and welcoming** and after signing my joining report, explained the administrative protocol in detail.
The day after I joined, there was an institute faculty meeting, attended by members from all departments at N1.  This was the first faculty meeting of my life and despite reading FSP's take on faculty meetings, I was very excited.  All new people, who had joined recently, were introduced by the director at the beginning of the meeting.
As I looked around, I was pleasantly surprised to see a much higher number of women than I had ever seen in STEM fields in North America.  True, we were all young, but so were almost all the male faculty members.  I suppose this is an advantage of joining a new place.  When you are building something from scratch and actively looking for talent, gender discrimination takes a back seat.  I discovered later, in the course of the meeting, that N1 also provides on-campus day care facilities for the children of its employees.
Impressed with this, I whispered to a (new female) colleague sitting on my right about the above average female representation in our faculty.  While my colleague did not share the same enthusiasm as me (or at least pretended not to), the director, on my left, overheard this and pointed out to me that the phrase "female faculty" was not polite language.  "Women faculty members" or "lady faculty members" are more acceptable terms of reference. I smiled thinking about FSP and how she or other North American FSPs would react on being called "lady faculty".
But, it was a good lesson in cultural differences on the use of language. Interestingly, the two-body problem, in Indian academic circles is usually called the "dual career" problem.
Strangely enough, after the meeting, I did not get a chance to talk to many people.
I was puzzled when I found myself standing all alone trying to look for familiar faces.
My handful of departmental colleagues greeted me, but moved on to talk to others.
There was some confusion about how we will all get back to our offices, which was far away from the meeting venue.  At this point, the director asked if anyone wanted a ride with him.  I wanted to discuss something with him and thought this would be a good time. As we drove back, I mentioned to him that I would like to organize a winter school for undergraduate students during the winter vacation.  He promptly approved this plan.  He also invited me and my father to join him for dinner that evening.  Needless to say, I was excited to be working under such a friendly and approachable director.  But I was a bit worried about my future relations with my fellow academic colleagues as they did not come across as particularly friendly that day.  In my second postdoc position, I had hardly made any friends and felt isolated***.  I was upset at the prospect of this happening again.
I had grown up in a culture where as soon as you arrive at a new place, your neighbors assume an easy familiarity, come over to welcome you and generously provide you all the help and information that you need.   But, that was different from what I now encountered.  I did not need any help from anyone, but it would have been good if people could smile and talk to me for a few seconds.
Next morning, I woke up with the thought that it was too early to jump to conclusions.  Perhaps, the parameters of social interaction were different at N1 and I would just have to get used to it.
For example, it seems that at N1, walking up to someone and introducing yourself is not common practice!  It only makes the other person confused about what to say.  A more acceptable form of interaction is to be introduced by a third person.
For that whole month, I found myself on my own.  Of course, there were more important things to take care of, like preparatory paperwork, setting up home etc.
Besides, I was too busy basking in the glory of a new found "real" faculty position to complain about feeling isolated.  My domestic help was my only social life in those days :) She gave me a tour of the local markets where I could buy groceries etc and told me a lot about the history of the place and life in the locality.
Just before the teaching semester started, many of my department colleagues returned from their summer travels and it felt good to be part of a big group.  We had a couple of departmental meetings to design our course syllabi and plan out the graduate program, which would soon start.  One remarkable thing that I have noticed at N1 is that all kinds of meetings are conducted very well.  Everyone gets a chance to talk and put their views across.  I am a member of several committees, but so far, no colleague, senior and junior, has ever attacked me, stopped me from expressing my opinions or treated me like a secretary.  It was during those meetings and the tea after the meetings that I got to know my colleagues better.
They were more friendly now and much more approachable.  Gradually, they also started opening up more and did not weigh their words as carefully as they seemed to do before.
To summarize, overall, I am happy with the way my professional relationship with colleagues has turned out.  We are helpful and work as a team.  In my department or in other committees of which I am a member, so far, nothing has happened to cause any deep divisions or resentments.  By the time the institute is old enough for such things to happen, I suppose I too will be old and robust enough to deal with them.
My social interaction with colleagues on a personal level, however, has been very limited.  I don't feel too bad about it because I am happy that we talk to each other amicably and now, somewhat freely, in the institute.  There's no hurry to make friends.  If I feel the need for reaching out personally to someone, I contact my immediate family or grad school and postdoc friends from North America with whom I am still in touch.  Or I blog :-)
As always, I welcome feedback from readers about their experience in adjusting socially to new places.
My next post will be about getting involved in institute activities.





*: At that time, I thought that being phony and being politically correct go with each other.  Now, with a few months of experience, I realize that while being phony is someone's personal choice, being politically correct is necessary for survival!
**: This pleasantly surprised me because he was very formal and aloof during my job visit, although certainly not rude or condescending.
***: In retrospect, a lot of this isolation was self-imposed.

Setting up home

Those of you who read Giridharmadras's blog are aware of his pinned post giving detailed information to newly arrived faculty at IISc.  Most of the instructions, especially the ones on this page, apply to most other institutes in India, the only difference being that if you are at a new institute, paper work is not as cumbersome.  Registrar's office, finance section, PRO's office etc are most likely located in the same building and the preparatory work gets done within a day or two.
In some ways, I had started the groundwork for my arrival long before I arrived.
During my interview visit, I requested to be shown the campus apartment that was likely to be alloted to me* in the event of my joining.  The PRO, a thorough gentleman, himself escorted me to my future apartment.  There were a few empty ones and I took my pick!
This, of course, is not possible always.  In most places, an arriving faculty member will be given temporary accommodation in the institute guest house  and will be moved to the first apartment that is available.  In fact, even at N1, which was going through a big hiring boom at that time, there weren't any available apartments by the time I joined in July**.
One often hears ex-NRIs complaining how difficult the first few days are and how one gets a rude culture shock upon returning to chaos and disorder.  I had almost started believing this cliched concept, when my very wise postdoc mentor (also from a developing country) asked me how one could possibly have more difficulty adjusting to a country where one grew up than to a country which was entirely new.
I found her point valid.  So, in the months between accepting the offer and landing there, I tried to just take things as they come and concentrate more on the positives.
As it turned out, my first few days were a breeze.  I arrived in N1 with a lot of enthusiasm and my super-excited father*** to replenish my enthusiasm levels in case they dipped.  On my first day, he accompanied me to the institute, and a lot of people assumed that I am a new student.  Lesson learnt! After that he stayed back at the guest house and supervised all the repair work of my apartment (a task that I was very happy to delegate to him), while I spent quality time at N1 doing what I wanted to do: meeting my new colleagues and figuring out how things work in my department.
For the next couple of days, we did all the shopping for setting up home.  The furniture stores in this part of the country are not exactly like Ikea - so my father's help was sought (and generously supplied) in talking and bargaining with carpenters.  It was almost two months before I got all my furniture- till then, the institute provided me the basic things like bed, table, chairs etc.
I did have a bit of trouble in getting a gas connection.  I submitted the application on my first day itself and to the credit of the gas agency, they were ready to supply me the cylinder within a week of the application.  Unfortunately, they also insisted that we buy a gas stove**** along with the cylinder, to which I objected, because I already had one.   There was a verbal duel and the person at the counter refused to release the cylinder ! Later, our PRO solved this problem through his own methods (though even he could not prevent them from selling me the extra gas stove).  My kitchen was ready to function on Day 10 of my arrival.
Around this time,  a lady approached me asking if I needed domestic help.  This was truly a luxury after a decade in North America.
She asked for a certain salary.  In contrast to prevailing policy, I offered her more than what she was asking and since then, we both have been very happy with each other.  Believe it or not, till date, she has only been absent for one day and that too after giving me advance notice!  I suspect that she is one of the main reasons why I am so happy at N1 :)
On Day 15, my father returned home.  After this, I got completely engrossed in institute activities.  I never really experienced the "culture shock" people talk about, except for some awkward but hilarious conversations with colleagues described in this post!
As I look back, the only troublesome experiences I had were all related to government agencies: the gas agency, the customs and port authorities described in my previous post and finally, the police, which has still not sent my police verification report to my institute!  But, what cannot be cured must be endured!!

My next post will be about meeting colleagues at N1 and forming new connections.




* In India, apartments are called quarters or flats. 
** These apartments have been renovated from older houses because we are still in our transit campus.  The real faculty quarters are under construction.  But, the first priority of the institute, of course, is to provide accommodation to its ever growing student community.
*** I make no apologies for the fact that since my return to India, I have changed from a rebellious youth into a  "daddy's little girl":)  The funny thing is that another female colleague, who joined soon after me also showed up with a relative.  Some colleagues later joked,"Hire one. Get one free"!
**** Gas cylinders are subsidized by the government.  So, the only way these agencies can make profit is by selling other accessories that come with it, including gas stoves, Ghee (clarified butter) to cook with and even hand wash!.  I was not aware that this is standard procedure!

Let's talk. Maybe not.

After a lot of boring committee work and trying to wrap my head around a research problem and getting nowhere,  I am feeling burnt out.  So, today's entry is completely non-academic.
I sometimes compare conversations with my acquaintances and friends in North America to those in India.  The contrast is most evident in non-professional conversations, especially those related to issues like marriage.

Most of my colleagues are married and most of them have children.  Many of them married while they were in grad school.  The situation was similar when I was in North America, but it never came in the way of making great friendships.  It seems that in North America, people are very careful about making comments on personal lives of others.  Neither of my friends questioned me why I wasn't married or wasn't dating anyone,(well,  except for amusing questions like "I have heard about arranged marriages in India.  Will you have such a marriage? Do your parents pressurize you?")  Nor did I badger them about their marital lives (obviously!)  

As it turns out, things are slightly different in India.  Some of my colleagues here with spouses are way more candid about their confusion/disapproval of my single status.  It irked me in the beginning.  In fact, the greatest fear I had about returning to India was that of unsolicited advisers interfering in my personal life.  But, as I now realize, if taken in the right spirit, they do make for hilarious conversations.  Here are some examples:

1) Newprof (forgetting that Colleague A is a chain smoker): There are way too many smokers on campus.  I wish they would show a little more concern for their colleagues and not smoke in the tea shops.

    

A: Most people in this part of the country are heavy smokers.  You better get used to it.  You will eventually marry one of them.

    

Newprof (fuming at A's audacity and now remembering that A smokes):  It is better to live alone than marry a fool.

A: I am not a fool. (Then blushes, presumably on remembering that he has a wife)

Newprof: I did not mean you personally (thinking, "Actually, I did") 

End of conversation (as newprof cannot think of any more rejoinders, without further offending A)

2)  A discussion is going on about wedding gift for a soon-to-be married colleague.

B: Hey newprof, when are we getting you a gift?

Newprof: Not any time soon, don't worry.

B: Well, you should hurry up. You are not getting any younger.

Newprof(becomes serious and puts on her argumentative hat): So what?

B: You see, when you fall sick in your old age, you will need someone to care for you.

Newprof: Big deal. A domestic helper can fulfill that need.

B: Nowadays, it is very difficult to find a good maid.

Newprof: Right. Finding a husband is so much easier.

B, catching onto the sarcasm, laughs it off. End of conversation.

According to a mathematician colleague, Newprof's answer to the first question should have been "Wedding is a sufficient condition for giving a gift, but not necessary."  Lesson learnt! 

 Finally, a conversation with an older guy.

3) Newprof goes to the administrative building to sort out some matters.  She meets a senior administrative staff member C, regarding her health insurance.  During the discussion, 

C: Are you married?

    

Newprof: No. (Thinking this is relevant to the health care form)

    

C: Do you have a fiance? (pronounces it as phee-aan-see)

    

Newprof(amused): No.  

    

C: Oh, you see, you are a career woman.  This will cause difficulty in getting married.

    

Newprof is not so amused anymore.  But, as a matter of policy, she never argues with administrative staff. (She has no such reservations while dealing with her academic colleagues) Fortunately, other relevant matters come up in the conversation.

All the above conversations made me very angry while they were going on.  I immediately pledged not to speak to the above people again, unless absolutely necessary.  However, since that is neither possible nor feasible, a better solution is to cleverly deflect the conversation each time the M word comes up! 

Any suggestions/witty rejoinders are welcome.