The other day, I heard someone getting upset at a friend. "Why don't you goddamn read my emails," the upset person thundered. The friend told me later, "I do read his emails. I just don't understand them. The words start floating in front of my eyes."
This set me thinking about different kinds of email writers. Here are six categories, at least one example of which is likely to exist in all departments.
This set me thinking about different kinds of email writers. Here are six categories, at least one example of which is likely to exist in all departments.
1) The Court-Poets: They want to ask you for something, but are scared you might refuse. So, in the first few lines, they would sing your glories. Then, they will make their request in the most polite but convoluted language. In the last few lines, they would tell you how deeply they appreciate your help and consideration.
2) The Prolific: They will not leave any email unread or unanswered, will exercise due diligence in all department matters, keep careful records and will write detailed emails explaining every aspect of a matter in excellent English. These are the most well meaning and sincere email writers, their emails are specimens of good literature, but also the hardest to follow, and therefore mostly unread.
3) The Happy Go Lucky: These are friendly writers, who will often just skim through your email and will write witty replies in short but complete sentences. Their emails are likely to be interspersed with symbols like :-), ;-), :D, :P and a "less than three" when writing to their special someones.
4) The No-Frills: Their emails are unlikely to exceed 3 or 4 lines. But, they will be clear, no-nonsense and convey all that is to be said. Such writers are often misunderstood to be arrogant by those who don't already know them.
4) The No-Frills: Their emails are unlikely to exceed 3 or 4 lines. But, they will be clear, no-nonsense and convey all that is to be said. Such writers are often misunderstood to be arrogant by those who don't already know them.
5) The Grumpy: The word is self-explanatory. Their emails provide fodder for gossip, jokes and entertainment, UNLESS they are directed at you, in which case they can make you turn to meditation and yoga.
6) The Bossy: Their emails would typically read, "OK", "Yes" and "No". In my experience, the writers in this category are either genuinely busy (directors, bosses, some PhD advisors) or those pretending to be so (some colloquium organisers, gym trainers or those who will write "K" instead of "OK").
I am mostly Happy Go Lucky, but can easily turn into Borderline Court-Poet when writing to bosses and in-laws.
What kind of email writer are you? Is the above classification exhaustive?
6) The Bossy: Their emails would typically read, "OK", "Yes" and "No". In my experience, the writers in this category are either genuinely busy (directors, bosses, some PhD advisors) or those pretending to be so (some colloquium organisers, gym trainers or those who will write "K" instead of "OK").
I am mostly Happy Go Lucky, but can easily turn into Borderline Court-Poet when writing to bosses and in-laws.
What kind of email writer are you? Is the above classification exhaustive?
2 comments:
Interesting post! I think I am somewhere between 2 and 3, closer to 2 interspersed with 3 on occasion.
I think there is a non- happy business like version of 3 or 4 who are straightforward in a conversational manner, without sounding arrogant. I have actually very rarely received emails with smileys even from the colleagues who are perfectly friendly and nice in all respects.
@Anonymous, true. Straight forward emails need not always sound arrogant.
The prolifics are my one-stop destination to catch up on any important matter.
Post grad school, I have received emails with smileys from just one person and the joke (if one can call it so) was on him :)
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