After a very hectic month, I am home for five days to get some rest and usher in the new year with my family.
I recently heard that a very dear friend from grad school has found a position of her choice. This friend had been planning to move back to her country for a very long time, but was not able to do so because academic jobs in her country are very hard to come by. A couple of months ago, she decided to move back, with or without a job, because it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to overcome cultural and emotional isolation in her postdoc country. Back home, she was on the verge of quitting academia, when a university that she had applied to invited her for an interview and made her an offer on the Friday before Christmas! She is absolutely thrilled and excited right now. This is a research and teaching position at a well known university which has a strong group in her specialization. So, it seems that her wait was long, but worthwhile.
I must admit that I was very surprised when she quit her postdoc two months ago to move back to her country. She was about to start the second year of a three year position at a big school, was working with a good scientist who was very happy with her work and had been making progress in her research programme. However, every time we talked, she would mention that she was home sick and was not sure how long she could sustain it. When I reminded her how beautifully she had adjusted to PhD city despite initial language problems, she mentioned that postdoc city was not half as friendly and welcoming to immigrants as PhD city. But, I never thought that this would be a reason to quit a perfectly good job and exchange it for the uncertainty of finding a position in her native country. In her position, I would have probably roughed it out and waited until I had found a new position/avenue. I am not sure if I would have quit a job midway without a clear idea of what I am going to do next. I am also not sure if I would have felt comfortable moving back with my family without a job.
Nonetheless, not having lived at her postdoc city myself, I also cannot comprehend the isolation that she was dealing with. My PhD city as well as both postdoc cities were very good places to live in. In my second postdoc city, I did not socialize very much and mostly kept to myself. But, this was not because the people there were unfriendly or unwelcoming. Rather, much of this isolation was self-imposed because I had started to worry a lot about my future, whether I was "good enough" to pursue a research career and whether I would ever find a suitable position (and that too in a job market that seemed to be going through a big slump). Somehow, I ended up wanting to be by myself while all this uncertainty was going on.
Fortunately for me (and a lot of Indians in my age group), the science job situation in India improved a lot in those very years and many of us were were able to return with exciting jobs in hand. However, unlike my friend, the feeling of home sickness had no role in my returning. I was never home sick in the west. I used to visit my family in India every year and had a lot of fun, but never really missed home while I was away. In fact, I would be very surprised when some of my Indian friends would complain that they missed celebrating festivals with their families and missed the "colour and variety" of life in India. "What's the big deal - these people just enjoy complaining," I would think [1].
Things went off (mostly) very smoothly after I joined my new position in India. As time went by, I started appreciating the fact that my family is just two hours away (no more 20 hour flights - yay), a visit to them can be planned at short notice during long weekends and that my father does not have to apply for a visa to come and visit me. After celebrating Diwali with my family after a gap of 11 years, I also sympathise more with those Indian friends in the west who miss all this [2].
What surprises me most of all is how much I look forward to my brief family visits nowadays. These visits are very relaxing and refreshing. Truly, there's no place like home. But, would I have felt the same if I were living with them, especially without a job?
Nonetheless, I am really happy that things have worked out so well for my friend.
[1] I remember a conversation with a colleague during my postdoc years, who had just arrived from India and told me tearfully that she missed her parents. "How old are you?" was my retort.
[2] The colleague mentioned above is also back in India - she returned before me. I recently met her at a conference and apologized to her for being so insensitive. We both had a good laugh about it.
I recently heard that a very dear friend from grad school has found a position of her choice. This friend had been planning to move back to her country for a very long time, but was not able to do so because academic jobs in her country are very hard to come by. A couple of months ago, she decided to move back, with or without a job, because it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to overcome cultural and emotional isolation in her postdoc country. Back home, she was on the verge of quitting academia, when a university that she had applied to invited her for an interview and made her an offer on the Friday before Christmas! She is absolutely thrilled and excited right now. This is a research and teaching position at a well known university which has a strong group in her specialization. So, it seems that her wait was long, but worthwhile.
I must admit that I was very surprised when she quit her postdoc two months ago to move back to her country. She was about to start the second year of a three year position at a big school, was working with a good scientist who was very happy with her work and had been making progress in her research programme. However, every time we talked, she would mention that she was home sick and was not sure how long she could sustain it. When I reminded her how beautifully she had adjusted to PhD city despite initial language problems, she mentioned that postdoc city was not half as friendly and welcoming to immigrants as PhD city. But, I never thought that this would be a reason to quit a perfectly good job and exchange it for the uncertainty of finding a position in her native country. In her position, I would have probably roughed it out and waited until I had found a new position/avenue. I am not sure if I would have quit a job midway without a clear idea of what I am going to do next. I am also not sure if I would have felt comfortable moving back with my family without a job.
Nonetheless, not having lived at her postdoc city myself, I also cannot comprehend the isolation that she was dealing with. My PhD city as well as both postdoc cities were very good places to live in. In my second postdoc city, I did not socialize very much and mostly kept to myself. But, this was not because the people there were unfriendly or unwelcoming. Rather, much of this isolation was self-imposed because I had started to worry a lot about my future, whether I was "good enough" to pursue a research career and whether I would ever find a suitable position (and that too in a job market that seemed to be going through a big slump). Somehow, I ended up wanting to be by myself while all this uncertainty was going on.
Fortunately for me (and a lot of Indians in my age group), the science job situation in India improved a lot in those very years and many of us were were able to return with exciting jobs in hand. However, unlike my friend, the feeling of home sickness had no role in my returning. I was never home sick in the west. I used to visit my family in India every year and had a lot of fun, but never really missed home while I was away. In fact, I would be very surprised when some of my Indian friends would complain that they missed celebrating festivals with their families and missed the "colour and variety" of life in India. "What's the big deal - these people just enjoy complaining," I would think [1].
Things went off (mostly) very smoothly after I joined my new position in India. As time went by, I started appreciating the fact that my family is just two hours away (no more 20 hour flights - yay), a visit to them can be planned at short notice during long weekends and that my father does not have to apply for a visa to come and visit me. After celebrating Diwali with my family after a gap of 11 years, I also sympathise more with those Indian friends in the west who miss all this [2].
What surprises me most of all is how much I look forward to my brief family visits nowadays. These visits are very relaxing and refreshing. Truly, there's no place like home. But, would I have felt the same if I were living with them, especially without a job?
Nonetheless, I am really happy that things have worked out so well for my friend.
[1] I remember a conversation with a colleague during my postdoc years, who had just arrived from India and told me tearfully that she missed her parents. "How old are you?" was my retort.
[2] The colleague mentioned above is also back in India - she returned before me. I recently met her at a conference and apologized to her for being so insensitive. We both had a good laugh about it.
3 comments:
Wish you a happy new year!
Great post!
It is a very happy and reliving news that your friend found a position well suited for her. However, in the unfortunate case if she hadn't, I could have appreciated her decision to quit academia.
I myself have been in such a situation twice and toyed the idea of quitting. When I look back, feel I should have perhaps. I blame it on my 'motivation to do physics', but is that the real reason I stayed on? Don't know. Was it a lack of certain openness to accept that 'there're other things to do in life'?
Us Indians (and Indian women especially) approach academics with a certain intensity. I'd often felt that we can't think of letting it go and do another job in most cases. Is it due to the social status associated with high-education? Is it because of all the fights some had to undertake (true with many women in science, including myself) that at the end it can't be just vanishing into thin air? Or is it just because we've a narrow outlook to life and weigh education, job, stability etc. above everything else? [an 'open end' is not much appreciated in our system, on top of it there's much under/un-employment too]
Well, whatever it is, I've seen it in myself and in my friends, that Indian post-docs are willing to live in-the-middle-of-nowhere as long as the job is good. While my European and N.American friends do not always agree to do that. Many will look for the quality of life, whether there's culture in the city, is the city good for living... all in all life is appreciated in a broader sense.
-another asst. prof.
Hello Himanshu and Anon. Happy new year to both of you.
Anon, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. In my friend's case, her willingness to quit academia did not surprise me as much as her quitting her job before she had another job in hand because she did not want to stay away from home any longer. But then, if a decision like that needs to be taken, then the uncertainty that comes along with it also must be handled. The (almost) overwhelming importance that many people give to job stability is certainly true in my case :)
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