I will be properly back soon. Meanwhile, to end my long blogging break, let me share four telephonic conversations with my father at different points of time:
Conversation 1 (2000):
K: Dad, I want to apply abroad for a PhD.
Dad: Very good, beta. I am very happy. How much money will you need for this?
(No other questions asked)
Conversation 2 (2006/2008/2010/2012)
K: Dad, I will soon be moving to a new city XYZ.
Dad: Very good, beta. I am very happy. Have you started the preparations?
(No other questions asked)
Conversation 3 (On a Friday evening around 7 pm)
K: Hi dad, I am out watching a movie with a friend. So, I won't be able to call you at our usual time.
Dad: What? Out for a movie? Where?
K: ABC Mall.
Dad: What time does the movie start?
K: 8 pm.
Dad: What time does the movie end?
K: Probably around 10.15 pm.
Dad: So, it will be 11 pm by the time you reach home. Couldn't you have attended an earlier show?
K: No, both my friend and I were working.
Dad: Who is this friend?
K: A colleague of mine AC. You met her in Pune.
Dad: How did you both go? How will you get back home?
K: By car.
Dad: Couldn't some male colleague have accompanied you?
K: Dad!!!!!
Dad: Where does she stay?
K: ABCD Road.
Dad: Please make sure you drop her at her doorstep.
K: Okay.
Dad: So, after dropping her, you will drive back alone?
K: Hmmm. Don't worry. All the roads are well lit and safe.
Dad: But, you will walk through your underground parking lot alone at 11 pm? Are there security guards there?
K: Don't worry. I will get home just fine. Take it easy.
Dad: Please call me once you reach your apartment.
(At 11 pm)
K: Dad, I have reached home.
Dad: (finally says the words I was dying to hear) Very good, beta. I am very happy.
Conversations 1 and 2 were about life-changing matters and yet my father either had no questions or at most one. Conversation 3 related to just few hours of an evening. Yet, it elicited the maximum number of questions from him and probably caused him the maximum amount of distress.
As I waited for the movie to start, I wondered about this phenomenon. I have traveled and lived outside the country without my father batting an eyelid, but in India, even in my 30s, sometimes have to give a non-trivial account of day-to-day activities to him, especially if it involves staying out after dark. He also derives a lot of comfort from my being reachable by mobile phone.
This is the reality of the times that we live in!
6 comments:
"this is the reality of our times" is exactly right. I do this with my daughter all the time...........she was in London for a year, landed at Heathrow with no one to receive her, I was just a little worried. Now that she is in Delhi, she calls me at 7.30 pm and says she is planning to visit Lawrence and Mayo in Connaught place late in the evening. I say OK, but later I figure she will have to come home after 9.30pm and I ring her back and make her postpone her visit after a lot of argument. I am afraid young women have to bear with this.
This is so true. Delhi, in particular, is very unsafe. I have now stopped arguing with my father about such matters, unlike a few years ago because I understand and also share his concerns.
Also, as that young couple in Delhi discovered, having a male with you may not be much use. (Unless the male has a gun or something.) I would have thought Pune is a bit better, though.
So true, Rahul! I almost said this to my father.
Pune is certainly a much safer place. But, no place in India is safe enough to prevent a parent's worry.
"Having a male..." true. In fact nowadays I even worry about my grown up son going out with any of his female friends. In case of any eve teasing, the man-friend is bound to respond and this could get a man killed...as happened sometime back - Keenan in Mumbai. For a parent, worrying has become a way of life.
This is such a sweet post. Touched a nerve for me. - S
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