Strictly confidential

A few days ago, I unwillingly became a subject of some gossip at N1.  This was around the time I was applying for a position at New1.  Like everyone in my situation, I wanted to keep it very confidential.   I wanted to tell my colleagues only after New1 made me an offer (if they did, that is.)

Immediately before submitting the application, I informed the director and two deans for official purposes [1].  The application went through the proper channels and all was well.  One day, however, in a moment of indiscretion, I mentioned it to someone "unofficially" and requested the listener to keep it "strictly confidential".
Little did I know that by doing so, I made the information public immediately.
Moreover, adding the "strictly confidential" clause ensured that there was a very high-speed delivery of this information across the campus.

This had immediate consequences, which would have been hilarious, had it not not been so awkward!  Some of my departmental colleagues walked into my office to tell me that they had heard from the tea shop owner that I was moving!  "We'll miss you, new prof, but we wish you well" they said.

Moving already? Hello, I had not even been interviewed as yet!!

I then walked into the office of a colleague and very dear friend to talk to her about it before she heard it from other sources.

New prof: Hi, there's something you need to hear from me before you hear it from others.

Friend: I know for the last one week!

New prof: What do you know?

Friend: That you are moving.

New prof: NO NO, that's not true. I have applied, that's all.

Friend: (Surprised) Oh, I thought your moving was pretty certain!

After that, we went for a cup of tea and had a frank heart-to-heart conversation (away from the ears of the shop owner!)

The other funny conversation I had was with a person in the admin building.

Admin staff: I am very sorry to hear that you are leaving.

New prof: I am not leaving.  It is not certain.

Admin staff: I am worried about who will become the next warden of the girls hostel.

New prof: Well, there are so many women faculty who live on campus.

Admin staff: Yes,  but you have a very good attitude.

New prof: (keeps quiet, not sure if she should be flattered that people will miss her "good attitude" or angry that people are only worried about appointing the next warden!)

One positive consequence of all of this was that some very concerned and well-meaning colleagues from other departments came to talk to me about it.  They were worried that I was feeling isolated and lonely here and came to assure me that I was not alone!  That felt very nice.  I also got dinner invitations, which was a pleasant surprise, given my non-existent social life here :-)

But, through it all, I was very worried about what would happen if New1 did not make me an offer!  That would place me in such an embarrassing position! In a state of paranoia, I imagined awful scenarios in which people at the tea shop would gossip about how "new prof wants to move, but can't get another job"!  I imagined that the tea shop owner would ask me "Arre didi, aap ab tak yeheen hain?" [Translation: Sister, you are still here?] or even worse, "Ab Kya Karengi, didi?" [Translation: What will you do now, sister?]

Just before I left for my interview at New1, I made the following Plan B in case things did not work out with my application there:

 Motivated by this post by GMP, I ordered the book "A guide to rational living" by Albert Ellis and Robert Harper on Flipkart, a book about Rational-Emotive Behavioral Therapy, which, as the back cover says, "can teach any intelligent person how to stop feeling miserable about practically anything."

Happily, by the time the book arrived, New1 had already made me an offer and I had accepted.  So, although I am reading the book, it is for reasons very different from the one I originally imagined.

Are there any therapies which teach you how to keep your matters "strictly confidential"? [2]



[1] I also informed my PhD student because this would directly affect his future as well.  I am glad I did so because he went for a conference to another city soon after that and colleagues from this city told him that I might move.  I have no idea how they knew it! But, I am really glad that my student heard it from me before he heard it from them! 

[2] In  case any one is wondering, I am pretty reliable when it comes to preserving information about others!

Are you a student?

I often get mistaken for a student.  Almost always, it leads to hilarious situations.

When I was interviewed at N1, some people asked a colleague who was showing me around if I was her student.  The guest house in charge was very concerned at my being the only person staying in the guest house at that time and told my colleague, "She is very young. She might get scared."

When I joined N1, many people assumed that my father is a new faculty member and I am just following him.  When he accompanied me to some offices, the office assistants passed the forms to him and started explaining to him how to fill them up! (therefore, I have requested him not to accompany me when I join New1, and even when he does visit me there, he will be asked to stay away from the office premises.)

When I was asked to become warden of the girls hostel, some students asked my domestic help (who also works at the institute) about me.  She apparently replied, "Woh toh khud bachchi hai, aur ladkiyon ko kya sambhalegi!" [Translation: She herself is a girl. How will she take care of other girls?]  By the way, it did not take the students, guards and house keeping staff long to figure out that I was not a "bachchi"!

Every once in a while, students come into my office and ask me when Dr NPNI will be back! [1]   Every year, I meet a couple of new students  who start off by calling me "didi."

However,  the frequency of such incidents has decreased, especially since I drastically upgraded my wardrobe.

Recently, another such situation presented itself.  While attending a conference last week, I was having dinner with a senior colleague, when a young PhD student joined us.  The senior colleague introduced us to each other by our names.
Student asked me where I am from and on hearing my answer, asked me what research area I work in.  After that, he continued the conversation with senior colleague.

A couple of days later, this student walked into an office in which I was using a desk reserved for visitors.  I was preparing some lectures for my course.  He had come to talk to a faculty colleague at New1 who sits in that office.  Here's how the conversation went:

Student (to me): Hi! What's up? How come you are here?

New1 Colleague: She is using every spare minute to prepare her course lectures.

Student(to me, looking surprised): Oh, are you faculty? I did not know that.

New1 Colleague: Yes.  She is currently a faculty member at N1 and is joining us next semester.

Student: Cool. I had no idea.

NPNI: (Smiles, and thinks "I thought as much!")

Later, in the course of his conversation with New1 Colleague, I heard this student asking very demanding questions like, "How come this work had not been done before? What was your motivation in working on it?"  I rolled my eyes and thought "Poor kid! He will grow up soon enough!"[2]


Next morning, as I flew back to N1 city with a colleague from another place, I narrated this incident to her and asked if she knew whose student this person was.
My colleague laughed back, "He is not a student.  He is a faculty member at -----Institute!"



[1] One student even asked me, "Are you Dr NPNI's secretary?"  I was almost flattered that he thought I was important enough to have a secretary.
[2] Haven't we all said stupid things to profs when we were students? 

An upcoming move

I am very happy to share with you the news that I have recently been offered and have accepted a position at another "N" institute, and will be moving next semester.
Inspired by a comment left by an anonymous commenter long ago, my future institute will be henceforth referred to as New1[1].  My primary motivation to move to New1 is the tremendous opportunity that it provides for my academic growth.

Working at N1 has been a wonderful experience and I have always been very happy here.  But, I have had to take this difficult decision purely from the point of view of furthering my academic goals.  N1 and New1 share very similar philosophies and objectives and that is an added advantage.

I am feeling a lot of things right now. I feel excited about a new opportunity and I also feel sad at the prospect of moving away from some very close friends and dear colleagues. [This has been my plight since childhood - move from a place as soon as I begin to build personal connections there- sigh!  In the last six months at N1, I have made some really good friends here!]

But, what I feel the most right now is gratitude. I am grateful to New1 for expressing an interest in my application and processing it in a very timely manner, grateful to N1 for understanding my professional needs and granting the necessary approvals [2] very smoothly, grateful to all my referees for sending in their letters at very short notice and for always supporting me in all my endeavours.  My initial plan was to apply a few months later and to more than one place so that I could give my referees sufficient time to write.  However, once my former advisor and second postdoc mentor assured me that they will write for me as soon as needed, I decided to avail this very good opportunity presented by New1.  After this, I contacted two other referees who also promptly sent in their letters.

I am also very grateful for the professional courtesy and the positive vibes that I encountered  during my interaction with the chairperson, members of the selection committee and other faculty members during the visit to New1 for my job talk and interview.

Coincidentally, this week, I am at New1 for a conference.  I have met many future colleagues and they have been very friendly, warm and welcoming, this making me look forward to the move.

Finally, I am so grateful to be in India at a time when there are so many opportunities to build a science career at new places which want you and also the opportunity to contribute towards building these places.






[1] The other possible names could be N2, NN1 etc. But, I like New1 the most.
[2] Applications to move from one government institute in India to another have to go through proper channels.  Thus, I had to take approval from the director at N1 to apply to New1.  I truly appreciate his cooperation in this matter.